Are you in?2/22/2013
Knitted Dress - Wardrobe
Belt - Ardene
Stockings - Asos
Boots (seen below) - Vintage
For as long as I can remember, I always thought that uncertainty was par for the course because in every relationship I'd ever been in, I always had a voice in the back of my head repeating "I'm not sure". See the thing is, this uncertainty really doesn't do favors for either party but before I reached that conclusion, I began to question if this was what 'love' had in store for us all. I began to question if I'd actually ever been in love. I hadn't been single for a very long period of my life so I decided to focus solely on myself with the intention of remaining single for a year...
Well, that didn't work. As life has it, once we stop looking for something, it has a way of finding us. But I have to tell you, before I started dating the guy I'm absolutely crazy about, I found that being alone and cutting out bad energy really kick-starts one's life. My perspective is very different now. Forget about guys, there's never a sad second when you have great friends and family - two areas that most definitely improve when you are single.
So with relationships, sometimes the timing is simply not right. Sometimes there's this nagging feeling that you could find someone better suited to you. Sometimes they're a giant asshole who everyone has been telling you is an asshole but you really don't want to believe it because that means you've wasted your time on some idiot. I've been there, amirite? Whatever the doubt is about, if you aren't sure then find something you are sure about; a hobby, a kick ass project, a series you're obsessed with. I'm serious, focus on something just for you no matter how silly you think it is. You don't have to terminate any relationship but you might start to really enjoy your own company and get a better sense of what you want.
So I had to tell that girl at the club that I had been there. I had wondered if I should break up with my boyfriend which for me, meant I was just delaying the inevitable. Years after my slightly doubtful period, going into my hell-am-i-unsure-but-i-like-his-face phase, I've ended up here. This slightly scary place where heartbreak is real because for the first time in my life, I am sure. I became so sure of things since I started focusing on myself and I think I've been able to spend my time more productively as well as with the right people, because of it.
So if you're really uncertain about things, don't waste your time anymore. You might not meet the perfect person soon but in the meantime, there's always someone who would love to go out and dance with you. Whatever you're looking for, you can find it. Don't spend all of your time on someone who keeps giving you doubts when you can have a fuller life without them, a life full of laughing with friends, singing terrible karaoke and chatting to strangers until the sun comes up. It's all out there waiting for you, without a doubt.