Dear friend,


Today I read The Perks Of Being A Wallflower and I couldn't put it down. It's easy to identify with the main character's observations because everyone has felt how the protagonist felt at some time. For me, the way he spoke about connections and nostalgia struck a chord. I thought about how we all chase one of those thrilling moments where you just feel so alive. It feels like the world has stopped and you are supposed to be right there; surrendering to your hysterical laughter or being pulled into a run or being surprised by an electric kiss that came out of nowhere. It's always those shared moments in this short life that feel like some sort of magic. We all magnify and reflect back everything that ever happens to one another. Those split seconds of being infinite exist everywhere, like that time when you and your friend both turned to look at each other and you could see your own thoughts on their faces, or that time when everyone held their breath as someone jumped into the water from a dizzying height. 

This is one of the anomalies of life because the very thing that makes these moments special are their sudden appearance and disappearance. It's not supposed to be analyzed but that seems like the only way one can stretch a memory.  It's strange to think that we've shared amazing moments with complete strangers whose names and stories we will never know and one day, even the people who weren't strangers become unfamiliar and locked away in a photograph. I always wonder if those times are looked back upon the same way that I look back upon them so I try to be as honest as I can with the people I know right now. 

I just want them to know that I appreciate them in a simple human way but at the same time I've grown up feeling that if anything makes me think of someone, I must keep it to myself because they might find it creepy and think that I want to bake them cakes. Really, it would be nothing but a passing thought and I never wanted to bake anything, I just wanted to let someone know that I see them in other things. But it's not that simple, we complicate everything and we think that the truth always has to come with responsibility or motive. I want nothing in return. I just mean to be honest because some day when someone looks back at a photograph, I don't want them to wonder, I want them to know, without a doubt, that it was indeed that way, just for a moment.

This whole thing is very abstract...I just want to be able to look back and know that I really felt, I felt and experienced and shared and appreciated every single gesture. So it may be silly to put any emphasis on fleeting moments or old friendships but I don't want to let another person pass by without knowing that I am grateful for them, in my own small way, because one random Tuesday we laughed with each other and I felt present. 

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